We're Different - And That's Okay

Throughout the course of my life, I have blessed to know many people from diverse backgrounds and equally diverse beliefs and value systems. Some of them were quite passionate about their beliefs and some were quite vocal about them. Not all of those who were passionate about their beliefs were vocal about them; sometimes they were quite the opposite.

The happiest and most content people were those whose self understanding was well-rounded and complete. They knew who they were and what they stood for, and they were completely comfortable with their identities. So comfortable that they felt no need to advertise their identities like a neon sign around their necks. Nor did they feel threatened by differing, and even opposing, views held by others. They had come ot the realization that no one needs or can have 100% approval and acceptance by others. They did not attempt to force their point of view on others, nor did they allow others to force them to change their identity and beliefs. You could say that they agreed to disagree, as it were. 

It seems tragic to me that our society has come to a point where so many people feel they have to limit their identity to a single facet of who they are to the point that their whole world revolves around that facet. I've begun to ponder what it would be like if everyone began to openly identify themselves in such a limited way. Imagine meeting a new person, and the first thing said is, "Hi. I'm a compulsive gambler. My name is John;" or perhaps, "Hi, I'm a transgender necrophiliac. My name is Lynn."  I suppose we would all be rather uncomfortable with each other, or we would conversely be quite comfortable with just about everything. Sadly, however, everyone would become rather one-dimensional. 

The differences between us are what make us unique and interesting individuals. Life would be quite boring if everyone was the same, sharing all the same beliefs, opinions, etc. The price we pay for being unique individuals is that we're not always going to agree, and we're not going to like everything about everyone we meet. That's okay. We can still like people we totally disagree with. For that matter, we might sometimes dislike people we largely agree with. Sometimes our point of view and beliefs will be in the extreme minority. That's okay, too, as long as we realize that we're not going to convert everyone else to our way of thinking. 

Free agency allows us to choose our own paths through life. Our decisions bring consequences, both positive and negative. We may disagree with another's decision, but it was that person's decision to make. If I make a choice that my family disagrees with, I run the risk of damaging my relationship with my family. That is a consequence I have to be prepared to accept. It doesn't make their point of view on the subject any more or less valid than my own. I do not have to agree with their position, not do I need to apologize for mine. I must simply respect that it is their viewpoint and that neither of us is willing to change. Hopefully, they will be able to do the same, and in time, the relationship will heal from the hurt.

There have many attempts throughout history to compel people to share the same beliefs through the force of government. The effects of this are not to actually change people's beliefs, but to drive them to seek a place where they can live their lives according to their own dictates in peace and safety. Sometimes this means going underground. Sometimes it means leaving the land of their birth for another. It can even mean creating an immense facade around one's life to mask their true beliefs. In any case, government coercion has not changed what they believe, merely how open they are about it. Too often, we allow government to be involved in areas of our lives where it doesn't belong. Despite the attempts, no government has ever successfully legislated thoughts and beliefs.

Choose your own path through life and allow others to do the same. Everyone has unique circumstances no matter how similar they may seem. What works best for you may not be the best solution for someone else. We may not always agree, but that doesn't mean we have to be enemies. We can still respect and even love those we don't agree with. Peaceful coexistence begins one person at a time. Be that person.